But really she’s a very good kid.

Me:  Polly, take Jack downstairs and put on a video for him. Mary, go clear your plate from the table and sweep up the crumbs.

Thirty seconds later, Polly is bellowing at Mary. “Mom SAID!”

I charge downstairs. Mary is standing rigid in front of the TV, fierce and scowling.

Polly: She wouldn’t let me start it.

Me: Bwah-huh?

Mary: NO I DIDN”T!!!!

Me: Didn’t what?

Mary: ANYTHING!

Me: I told Polly to put this on for him. It doesn’t have anything to do with you. Did you clear your plate?

Mary: I couldn’t find it.

Me: Bwah?

Mary: I COULDN’T!

Polly: It’s right there on the table! (points to plate in plain sight)

Mary: I didn’t see it.

Me: You just ate lunch there. Where else would it be?

Mary: I didn’t SEE it!

Me: ::::::::speechless::::::::
(Several more brain cells quietly die the death, taking some hair pigment with them.)